5 Ways Helping Others Can Bring You Hope
Written by Marci Renée
Photo by Claudio Schwarz on Unsplash
It was a hard day. It was feeling like a hopeless day—discouragement, disappointment, and lots of other feelings weighed on me.
The last thing I wanted to do was to go to the safe house. It sounded awful, dreadful even.
It wasn’t that I didn’t like my volunteer work, but that day, I was lacking energy and motivation. Things were rough in other areas of my life. Lately, I was seeing the glass half empty—not full. My thoughts were more on the negative side of the spectrum. Dark thoughts seemed to fill my mind more than happy ones.
How could I possibly walk through the door of a place where there was even more discouragement and disappointment than in my own personal world? How could I make a difference in the lives of these women and children when I had nothing to give?
I felt empty . . . hopeless.
I mustered up enough strength and courage to get dressed, out the door, and into the car to drive into the city. I like keeping my word, and deep down inside, I knew it would actually be good for me. It was true . . . often I felt more energized when I returned home from my work at the safe house.
Something surprising happened when I finally walked through the door.
What Difference Does it Make?
I can remember seeing volunteer work and acts of kindness and compassion on a list of things to do to fight depression and hopelessness, but what actually happens to change your mood?
According to Dr. Shari Jacobson, retired senior therapist with the British Association for Counseling and Psychotherapy and founder of Harley Therapy, there are several factors involved.
1. Volunteering creates social connection.
Human beings were created for social interaction in order to flourish. Loneliness, low self-confidence, and depression can all be results of social isolation.
“Volunteering . . . has us interacting with others in valuable ways and being appreciated.”
That’s what was happening. When I entered the safe house and sat down to chat with those women and children, I was in community. I wasn’t alone, and they weren’t either. Our relationships and interaction somehow began to restore and renew all of us.
When they smiled at me and thanked me for coming, I felt valued and appreciated.
Hope stirred in me.
2. Volunteering changes our thought patterns.
When we are depressed and feeling hopeless, our negative thoughts and distortions increase and get us into a vicious cycle. Taking positive action, like volunteering or showing acts of kindness and compassion, can break this negative thought cycle. This is called a “behavioral intervention.”
“Volunteering also has the added benefit of changing your focus, even if it’s just for an hour or so. This means you get a much needed break from your negative thoughts and might even find yourself experiencing positive ones. And positive thoughts like these can change your cycle of thoughts, emotions, and actions into an upward, instead of downward, spiral.”
That’s what was happening. Before going to volunteer that day, I had been drowning in my dark and sad thoughts. Yep, I had been having a pity party. I couldn’t seem to think about anything else. But, suddenly, when sitting down with these women, my focus shifted. I got my thoughts onto something else for the first time in a while.
Hope stirred in me.
3. Volunteering changes your perspective and the way you see the world.
When you are feeling down and depressed, sometimes it’s hard to see yourself and your life in a new way.
“Volunteering does the work for you, showing you different perspectives on life by having you interact with people you might not encounter otherwise and learning about the way they see and live their lives. This can cause a natural shift in the way you see and live yours.”
That’s what was happening. I was interacting with beautiful, broken people who had been through much harder things than I had. As I sat with them and listened, I found myself lost in their lives, in their stories, in their words. I got wrapped up in their world, desiring to help them, and forgot the misery of my own.
Hope stirred in me.
4. Volunteering can raise one’s self-esteem.
It “can teach you new skills, improve the ones you already have, help you feel useful and recognize your inner resources, give you more purpose, and also improve your interrelating with others.”
All of these can boost confidence, leading to better feelings about oneself.
That’s what was happening. I was using my Arabic language skills to translate for the psychologists and lawyers. I was doing crafts with the women and learning how to create new things myself. I suddenly realized that I did have a lot to give. I could make a difference, and that gave me a renewed sense of purpose.
Hope stirred in me.
5. Volunteering leads to better overall health.
The mind and body are connected. When we are sick, we aren’t happy, and when we are healthy physically, we usually feel better emotionally. Is it possible that feeling good from volunteering can also increase physical health?
“A four-year study carried out at Carnegie Mellon University on adults over 50 who volunteered found that those who volunteered for 200 or more hours a year were less likely to develop high blood pressure and more likely to enjoy psychological wellbeing.”
Volunteering is also believed to reduce stress and increase longevity—nothing but benefits.
That’s what was happening. Even though I walked through the doors that day feeling exhausted and discouraged, I left feeling happier and lighter, less stressed and overwhelmed. Nothing had changed in my own life, my circumstances were the same, but I felt better.
Hope stirred in me.
I was right. If I could just get through the door of the safe house that day, something would change in me. Not only did hope stir within me, but so did my joy, my love, my strength, and my energy.
It was a good day after all!
Photo by Brian Yurasits on Unsplash
Don’t Know How to Get Started?
The Mental Health Foundation in the United Kingdom gives a list of suggestions on how to get started in volunteering and showing acts of kindness.
Volunteer for a local community organization.
Offer your expertise and support as a mentor for those who are struggling.
Check in with a lonely neighbor.
See if there’s anything you can do to support your children’s school or nursery—Ex. offer to read stories.
Involve your friends and neighbors in community projects.
Offer to skill-share with a friend—teach guitar, dance, or share a new recipe.
Visit those without families in a hospital or hold babies in an orphanage.
Tell a family member how much you love and appreciate them.
Offer a listening ear to someone who simply wants to talk.
So, if you’ve been feeling down and depressed lately, consider showing compassion and kindness through volunteer work as a way to boost your mood! You may have to force yourself to get started, but you may be pleasantly surprised by the results. If you don’t know where to start in finding volunteer opportunities, just ask a friend, a local doctor, or teacher.
Look what happened to me that day I went to the safe house. I was right. When I got out of my house and walked through the door of the safe house, something changed in me. Not only did hope stir within me, but so did my joy, my love, my strength, my energy . . .
Special Note: Sometimes, ongoing depression requires Therapy and the services of a professional counselor. If you feel like you are stuck in a cycle of depressive and hopeless thoughts, reach out to See Beyond. We would love to walk alongside you, listen to your story, and get you the help you need.
Guest author, Marci Renée, along with her French husband and four boys, is a global nomad who has traveled to more than 30 countries and has lived in the United States, France, Morocco, and Spain. She loves to travel, speak foreign languages, experience different cultures, eat ethnic foods, meet people from faraway lands, and of course, write and tell stories. She is a published author of children's picture books, memoirs, short stories, and poetry.
You can find Marci and her books on her website.
"The Cultural Story-Weaver," at www.culturalstoryweaver.com